


I'm Not Batman

by Trista_zevkia



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester Friendship, Charlie Bradbury Lives, Charlie Ships It, Drinking & Talking, Fluff and Angst, M/M, No Smut, Pining, discussion of Batman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 02:09:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4901479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trista_zevkia/pseuds/Trista_zevkia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A night of drinking leads to talking, words Dean's not ready for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Batman

Charlie was a good friend, a great little sister he never wanted, and tiny despot who’d drunk way too much. She’d matched Dean drink for drink, and he was about two shots from passing out. Sure, his tolerance had gone down since the Mark was removed, but he was about unconscious and Charlie was just now getting drunkenly philosophical.

“Dean, Dean, listen.” She’d slurred at him, and then promptly shut up, forgetting to continue. This time, hitting Dean’s arm as she called his name helped her talk. 

“Dean, you’re not Batman. You think you are because of the Batcave and muscles, but Batman’s a good guy.” 

“Hey,” Dean managed to protest, not as sharply as he would have sober. 

“You’re good, and a good guy, but Batman is like chaotic good. He wants to make the world a better place and only follows the laws that he likes.” 

“I do that too,” Dean was sure he wouldn’t have sounded so petulant if he wasn’t drunk. 

“Yeah, but you’d do anything for family, fuck the laws, so you’re somewhere between good neutral and neutral-neutral. Batman is always on the side of the good. Cas is Batman.” 

“He’s got the voice,” Dean admitted readily enough, mind derailed by thoughts of Cas in a Batsuit. 

“Right? So picture a visibly pissed-off Batman at a JL meeting. Got it?” 

“Yeah,” Dean agreed, hoping Charlie would get to the point. 

“Their reactions are just how the angels react to a pissed Cas.” 

“They did, even Crowley kind of fears Cas.” And it was hot, but Dean wasn’t drunk enough to admit that out loud. 

“I know you think Cas is Clark Kent,” Dean muttered at that but Charlie kept on talking. “I know that’s Superman’s alter-ego but Cas sure isn’t Bruce Wayne. The JL doesn’t follow Clark or Bruce, do they? No, and Batman will do anything to protect people. Didn’t you say Cas had a rep as some badass wild card that would do anything? Like carve a banishing sigil on his own chest, without knowing if it would work.” 

“I haven’t even told you about the time he took down an angel with a rose thorn.” Dean remembered, but Charlie was on a roll. 

“And then those angel bombs used his idea against him, to claim their suicides were Cas’ wishes, like all those fake vigilantes pretending to be Batman in hockey gear. So, Cas is totally Batman.” 

Dean gave in to her superior logic. “I’d better be Nightwing.” 

“God no, did you not see his hair in the 1980’s? Sam is Nightwing, and I’m totally Barbara Gordon. Got the hair and everything.” 

Charlie waved away this line of reasoning, and Dean carefully poured two more shots. He’d just sat down the bottle when Charlie grabbed his drinking arm. 

“You’re almost as badass as Batman, but more neutral. With the credit card scams, and stealing from the rich to finance doing good, and let’s not forget the way terrible writers could easily forget your story arc to make you a only a love interest, it’s clear.” Charlie forced herself to sit up, the better look him in the eye. “Dean, you’re Catwoman.” 

Dean’s drunk mind looked hard for a counterargument, taking long enough that Charlie settled back into the bunker’s couch. Eventually, his liquor soaked brain informed him that he probably wouldn’t find a counterargument if he was sober. Because, yeah, he’s totally in love with Batman but has his own crap to deal with. 

In quick succession, Dean drowned both shots and got to his feet. He could really use some unconsciousness now and the sudden influx of alcohol should just about do it. As Charlie giggles and the floor spins up to him, Dean hopes neither of them remember this conversation in the morning. 

҉ 

**Author's Note:**

> If you have enjoyed my fanfic, could I beg you to consider my original works? I hate to ask, but I haven’t had a real job since 2009. I graduated with an environmental degree while W Bush was in office.
> 
> My works are under Nani Nicks, available on [ Smashwords ](https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/580261), [ Amazon ](http://www.amazon.com/Telling-Truths-Investigatrix-Book-1-ebook/dp/B015X38AEG/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1443490345&sr=1-2&keywords=nani+nicks), [ Kobo ](https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/telling-truths), [ Barnes and Noble ](http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/telling-truths-nani-nicks/1122628967?ean=2940152339031), [ Oyster ](https://www.oysterbooks.com/book/Aphf95ifMCJtcD2B77Pm4b/the-mask-of-professionalism), [ Inktera](http://www.inktera.com/store/title/c55535d9-44c2-49d8-953f-3f4e2f8fa413)
> 
> Not to sound like a drug dealer, but the first one at Smashwords is free!


End file.
